Let’s get real for a second.
Showing up on social media while healing is one of the most unnatural things.

There’s this unspoken expectation to share your “journey” in neatly packaged updates, complete with lessons learned, silver linings, and a polished smile that says, “I’m okay.” But healing isn’t linear and it’s definitely not always "insta-worthy". Healing on a soul level is messy, chaotic, and full of moments I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, let alone put on display for the world.

Some days, I want to share and connect. Other days, the weight of just existing feels unbearable, let alone curating a post. And yet, there’s this voice that whispers, “If you disappear, you’ll be forgotten. If you don’t share, how will anyone know you’re still here?”

But here’s the truth: healing isn’t for an audience. It’s for you.
It’s for the quiet moments when you’re crying on the bathroom floor. It’s for the days when you actually feel a little lighter, even if you’re too afraid to say it out loud. It’s for the hours spent unraveling yourself and piecing together what’s left.

Social media often sells us this illusion that healing should look like triumph - like a phoenix rising from the ashes, wings glistening and unscathed. But real healing is more like crawling through the ashes, unsure if you’ll ever fly again.

To those of you out there trying to heal and show up:
It’s okay to be quiet.
It’s okay to be raw.
It’s okay to say, “I can’t right now.”
You don’t owe anyone a performance of your pain or your progress.

If the guilt creeps in, try this:

• Write for yourself first. Keep a private journal or audio diary where your truth can live, unfiltered and unpolished.

• Let your close circle know you’re in a season of restoration. Real ones will understand.

• Remind yourself: Rest is productive. Silence is sacred. Disappearing is not the same as being forgotten.
  

And if you still want to share, but not perform, try these softer ways:

• Share a song that’s holding you through.

• Post a photo of something that feels safe.

• Use a quote, a poem, or even a color to speak for you when words feel too heavy.

• Start a close friends list or email journal for people who truly see you and don’t need it to be perfect.

For me, I’ve learned that healing isn’t about how others see me, it’s about how I see myself in the mirror when no one else is looking. And right now, I’m learning to show up for that person, even if it means not showing up in spaces or for people as much.

This space will always be a part of my journey but it can’t define it. So here’s to healing in all its messy, beautiful, unfiltered glory. And here’s to anyone else in the trenches, just trying to make it to the next day.

You are enough, just as you are. 🧡